CHICKEN-LICKEN - DUBAI

One day as Chicken-licken was walking out of parliament having once again been bashed by the other animals in power, he saw another headline about the success of Dubai and how much of his citizens money was being invested there. This is not good he thought. Suddenly, as another suicidal bank employee smashed onto the sidewalk in front of him, Chicken-licken remembered the time he went walking to parliament, when an acorn fell from a tree onto his head. He also remembered how he had thought the sky had fallen onto his head and how much panic he had mistakenly caused and how easy it had been to influence others. His current press campaign on how to undermine Dubai with stupid stories and meaningless commentary was not working as well as he wanted. He also had to divert attention away from his own ridiculous failing economy, immigration issues, crime issues, falling apart health care and social services, as an election was looming!   

The solution was contained in an envelope on his desk. “Chicken-licken, as you are always being bashed in the press by a group of degenerates who call themselves journalists, you are cordially invited to attend the annual BPSA (British Press Shyster Awards, where the categories range from – “most read story without a single fact”, “baseless reporting”, “best made up news headline”, “the best background investigation into a story that was false from the beginning anyway”, “the most blown out of all proportion news report” etc. etc.), at which, we would like you to make a short speech.  

Now Chicken-licken had the platform he needed to mount a fresh attack on this most annoying Dubai that just wouldn’t go away. 

Arriving at the BPSA, Chicken-licken took up his position at the podium and shouted out:  "Gracious goodness me! The sky must have fallen in Dubai as one company wants to delay a debt repayment for 5 months. I must go and tell the Queen."

So Chicken-licken turned and as he was leaving, met Reporter-warter. "Well, Reporter-warter, where are you going?" said he. "I'm going to Dubai," said she.

"Oh, Reporter-Warter, don't go!" said he, "for as I was going I heard that the sky fell onto the heads of all those living in Dubai because one company wants to delay a debt repayment for 5 months, and I'm going to tell the Queen."

So Reporter-warter turned back with Chicken-licken, and they bumped into Journalist-joke. "I'm going to Dubai," said he.

Then Reporter-warter said:' "Oh Journalist-joke, don't go, for I was going, and I met Chicken-licken, and Chicken-licken had heard that in Dubai the sky had fallen onto their heads because one company wants to delay a debt repayment for 5 months, and we are going to tell the Queen."

So Journalist-joke turned back, and there was Freelance-fiasco bag in hand. "Well, Freelance-fiasco, where are you going" asked Journalist-joke?

And Freelance-fiasco said: "I'm going to Dubai."

Then Journalist-joke said: "Oh! Freelance-fiasco, don't go, for I was going, and I met Reporter-warter, and Reporter-warter met Chicken-licken, and Chicken-licken had heard that in Dubai the sky had fallen onto their heads because one company wants to delay a debt repayment for 5 months, and we are going to tell the Queen."

So Freelance-fiasco turned back, and there stood Spiter-writer. "Well, Spiter-writer, where are you going?"

And Spiter-writer said: "I'm going to Dubai."

Then Freelance-fiasco said: "Oh! Spiter-writer, don't go, for I was going, and I met Journalist-joke, and Journalist-joke met Reporter-warter, and Reporter-warter met Chicken-licken, and Chicken-licken had heard that in Dubai the sky had fallen onto their heads because one company wants to delay a debt repayment for 5 months, and, we are going to tell the Queen."

So Spiter-writer turned back, and met Editor-meddletor. "Well, Editor-meddletor, where are you going?"

And Editor-meddletor said: "I'm going to Dubai."

Then Spiter-writer said: "Oh, Editor-meddletor, don't go, for I was going, and I met Freelance-fiasco, and Freelance-fiasco met Journalist-joke, and Journalist-joke met Reporter-warter, and Reporter-warter met Chicken-licken, and Chicken-licken heard that in Dubai the sky had fallen onto their heads, because one company wants to delay a debt repayment for 5 months, and we are going to tell the Queen." 

So Editor-meddletor turned back, and walked with Spiter-writer, Editor-meddletor, Freelance-fiasco, Journalist-joke, and Chicken-licken. And as they were going along, they met Fox-lox. And Fox-lox said: "Where are you going?"

And they said: "Chicken-licken was going to Dubai, and he heard that in Dubai the sky had fallen onto their heads, because one company wants to delay a debt repayment for 5 months, and we are going to tell the Queen. 

And Fox-lox said: "Are you all not educated people? Do you not understand that Chicken-licken is trying to divert all the attention away from how badly they are running things at home? Do you not understand that until now, no bank, local or international, has failed in Dubai? That they have the most advanced infrastructure in the Middle East, an infrastructure that is better than most western cities? Yes there are issues, but none that are insurmountable! Dubai does not use taxpayer’s money to sort out their problems. We are the ones that will have to pay through our taxes for the mess that their poor financial legislation allowed to be created!”

And all of them looked sheepishly at each other and said, but it is easier to copy and paste stories then to be proper investigative journalists, because that is so much hard work! We love picking on something that doesn’t defend itself its such fun!” 

“Shame on you" replied Fox-lox “You are all an embarrassment to the journalism fraternity, which relies on independent truthful reporting.” But they just looked down and shuffled their feet. “Right he said come with me and I will take you the Queen. Fox-lox took them into the fox's lair, and he and his young ones started to eat them up. “Yech, they don’t taste very good,’ said the young ones, “that’s because they are poor quality,” said Fox Lox. “Never mind, I am sure they will be just easily replaced.” 

So Chicken-licken, Reporter-warter, Journalist-joke, Freelance-fiasco, Spiter-writer, Editor-meddletor, never saw the Queen to tell her that the sky had fallen onto the heads of those living in Dubai because one company wants to delay a debt repayment for 5 months.  

Besides which, the Queen was having lunch with His Highness Sheikh Mohammed anyway, and was not interested in their drivel, as it was far more important to discuss all the exciting long-term sustainable things that were happening in Dubai.